So great was your response to the first volume of my autobiography, dear sweet wondrous readers, that only a Philistine could have failed to produce a second.  Indeed, I've implored my publisher to distribute this volume to discount booksellers so that even the least among you might enjoy it.  As always, my aim being to instruct and delight, I have carefully sifted the proofs to ensure that every word is spelled correctly, every phrase a transmitter of knowledge, every passage a joy to behold.  I can safely state that nothing in this book would offend or in any way disturb public sentiment.  Doubtless you will laugh, cry, fume and ultimately grow wiser; but not at the expense of your sensibilities.  Of this you have my personal pledge.  Not unexpectedly, therefore, I have requested my publisher to offer this book with a money back guarantee.  Should the public's profound sense of truth, goodness, justice and, above all, taste be in any way compromised by anything herein, simply return the dust jacket for a full refund.  I know of no other author so bold, so sure of his work's content, so dedicated to his audience as to make such an offer.  I trust it will be one you can't refuse?  God bless you, one and all!  And now  --

Let My Beloved Readers Resume Their Journey